To be able to look back upon one's past life with satisfaction is to live twice. - Lord Acton
Today I had the privledge of spending the day with my old children's pastor. I haven't seen her in 10 years. Since that time, she has gotten married, moved across the country and become a senior pastor. And, obvioulsy I have changed a little bit during that time! But, it was like I had never stopped seeing her or keeping in touch. She shared many things about my childhood that I had forgotten and some that I never knew. She told me about how I was always her favorite and had worked my way into her heart. I always loved her and remember so many good times with her. She used to have tea parties at her house for us youngins...and she would let me drink coffee! That is a privledge when you are 11! She shared a story with me about how I got the lead in the Christmas play one year...I remember there being drama and people shedding tears, but that is it. I guess there were a couple of us that wanted the part, but she felt I deserved it. So, she decided to draw a name from a basket to determine who would get the part. What she admitted to me today was that my name was the only one in the basket. I thought this was pretty funny. But, at the same time, it is nice to know that I am so loved. I also got to hear stories about the stupid things I did...but if anyone knows me, they should know those stories are plentiful...ha, ha! Yeah, some story about me and my brothers and her daughter tagging on the back fence. Boy weren't we bright kids!?! I also recall having a bonfire in her front yard, which I am sure she wasn't too pleased with.
It seems like in life as we move forward, many times we forget the road we traveled. Now, I know there isn't much road to travel as a kid, but it is nice to revisit those memories and know that even at a young age, someone had my back! Oh yeah, and this great lady still has a picture of me in her office from when I was 13! Anyone who has kept a corny picture of me up in their house for that long has to be cool...or stupid; one of the two!
This week has been a lot of goodbyes for me. It started out with me spending the weekend with my brother Josh, his wife Courtney and baby Tanner. It was fun. Courtney and I spend some good time taking Tanner to the beach and feeding him my personal favorite, Taco Bell. I tried to give him part of a burrito, but he isn't quite ready for it. He pulled it apart rather than consuming it. Such a rookie mistake...ha, ha! I did have tons of fun hanging with Tanner. He gets more and more fun every time I see him. After saying goodbye to them, I spent the afternoon with a friend...Kat. It was fun hanging with her and her fam. It was actually calming and nice to feel normal with someone again...not just thinking about all I have to say goodbye to. Then on to some time with the sister in law, Carli. We partied it up...yeah, she fell asleep while we were watching a movie! But, I did get to go with her to do something with cows at 1 in the morning! We hit up 7-11 for slurpees on the way home and that made it all worth it.
Then on to Modesto. I spent the week at Chandra's house. I have never stayed with her because my family is usually in town, but this was a treat. It definitely opened my eyes to what life with children is like. But, it was great staying with Chandra. We stayed up late every night watching Grey's Anatomy and went on a couple long walks with the girls. On Thursday, I had to give up my car. Honestly, that was hard. I think my car represented everything tangable I was giving up. And...the waterworks came. When I was driving it to the dealer, I lost it. Then I got out of the car and Chandra and I had a cryfest in the parking lot. But, I had to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. So I wiped my streaked face, went in and gave my car back. Poor car...she was a good one. I will NEVER forget her. On Thursday night me (my mother in law says people in Scotland don't say me, so I guess I need to get it out of my system), Chandra and Laurie went out to dinner. It was fun hanging out and being with some friends.
Now, that brings me to today. Here am I, sitting at the airport waiting for the airplane. This airplane is taking me to Arkansas to see my brother. I am excited about that. I haven't seen him since February. We should have some good times together. I guess there is good and bad to every situation. Goodbye California, hello Jeremy!
Saying goodbye at work was a process. Basically I had to keep working (so much to do) while making sure I still properly said by to everyone. On Thursday I had my goodbye lunch, followed by a party. It was great. It was my beach-themed, Goodbye California party. There was pizza and, just like I wanted, pink lemonade cupcakes. It was great. Everyone was sitting around talking and having fun...just like I would want it. I just didn't want it to be like the normal goodbye lunches, all quiet and weird. There was definitely no weirdness there! Well, except maybe for some of the pictures taken! At the party, I was forced to open all my presents in front of everyone...you know how much I enjoy that sort of thing! But it went well. People wrote really nice things about me (probably because I am leaving...ha, ha) and I walked away with some sizable loot. Nice! This is definitely a goodbye that I will forever remember!
Friday, even though it was my last day, was a busy day at work. I was sad on Thursday, but excited on Friday. It seemed fun. Everyone wanted to talk and hang out with me...okay, so I know this happened a lot already, but it was happening more than usual in the "party office". Everything was fine and dandy until Mr. Koop (my boss) went to leave. We had our little moment and said goodbye. After he left, I had a little cryfest, but pulled myself back together. It was all good. At the end of the day, I "decorated" my office nicely for the replacement...with pictures of me! I'm sure he will enjoy that one. Then I went out for one last time with my entourage. We went and got sundaes at McDonalds. It was a great way to end my time in the City of Angels.
The funny thing is, even as I sit here writing about saying bye, I still feel like I am going to work on Monday. Things don't seem or feel different, but I know in my heart that they are. But, it's good. It means only 2 more weeks until I see Ian. Three more weeks before we move into our new place. I just have to look forward and not back...but I will still keep in touch with those of you in the rear-view mirror! I am now one step closer to moving on...
Yesterday I did the walk-thru of my house and gave the keys to the renters. It was a weird feeling. I still have a key to my house, but can't just walk in. On Saturday when the house was finally clean and empty, there was a sad feeling inside of me. I don't think the feeling was over the house per-say, but more the fact that my life is changing. Everything is changing. My home, job, dog...literally my entire life is changing. I almost shed a tear over it. There is this bright future ahead of me, but I am still living in the present. And, that's hard. I am going at this alone right now. No Ian, no Riley (the dog), no nothing. Staying by myself...just me and my electronics (cell phone, computer, TV).
This morning, a great friend of mine (yeah, you know who you are) was talking about how easily we can keep in touch in this day and age. He/she (I want to hide their identity, ha, ha) was talking about what saying goodbye would have meant 100 years ago. Now I just have to remind myself, I AM NOT SAYING GOODBYE! People, we can stay connected...maybe you just want me to leave, but still. I have so many ways at my fingertips to keep in touch (i.e. this dang blog!). But, at the same time, nothing is as good as human touch and human interaction. So, every once in a while, some of you will need to get on a plane, fly to Scotland and give me that human interaction that I need! Of course, I will probably have replaced you by then with people from Scotland. Okay, so that won't be the case for all of you!
So, here am I, sitting here pondering...that is what I do a lot lately...this dang move. People constantly ask if I am excited. To be honest, not really right now. I seem to be in a mourning phase right now for what I am leaving behind. I know there is a great life ahead of me, but that doesn't mean I can't be sad for what I am leaving...but, as a wise person once said, "remember the bad times!"
This afternoon, Ian began his trek over the great pond to Edinburgh. He actually is going to Glasgow, because that is where he is staying until he finds us a place to live. Ian's departure was bitter-sweet. It means the journey has begun and this is actually happening. But, it also means my life must go on for a couple weeks without him....I have to continue boxing up the last of our crap, painting and cleaning our place without him...totally selfish, I know.
Ian gets to fly business class, so he's riding it style. He got to check in on the side where there aren't any lines and didn't really have to wait for security. Then, to top it all off, he got to hang out in a lounge where there was free food! Think three weeks later, me flying economy. There won't be any of these luxuries. I am bound to long lines at check in and security. Then I get to fight for a seat in front of the gate. A seat that has been farted in and seen who knows how many butts that day! Oh well, I am happy for Ian and his getting to ride in style.
I am definitely going to miss Ian over the next couple weeks. Loosing your built in entertainment can really put a dampner on things. But, before you know it, I will be off too...
Today we lugged the remainder of our furniture to storage. What a task that was. It isn't very easy moving your whole house with just two people. Things always seem lighter when you are looking at them! Then there was Ian's huge tool box. It was my unicorn. Having to lift that thing into the truck was definitely a challenge. When we got over to storage, I had to stare at it a minute to build up my strength enough to get it back out of the truck. The interesting thing is it seems like we have gotten rid of so much "fluff", yet we still have tons of stuff. Oh well, it's good stuff...I like it! Seeing my bike be banned to a small storage space makes me sad. The Betty is such a great bike and she doesn't deserve to be locked up like this. Poor girl.
Okay, so about the moving part...moving heavy stuff brings out the best in you! It certainly brings out the best in me! And, because of that, I am glad that the heavy lifting is done. Now all we have to do is box up some odds and ends and get to cleaning. Hopefully most of this will be done when Ian leaves on Wednesday. But, my hope is just that, hope. Most likely there will be a decent amount left to do. My mom is going to come down for a day and help me. That should be good because she always works fast and never complains about the crappy stuff...I obviously didn't get my complaining side from her!
Alright, here's to me not having to move for a while! And, here's to you to not have to as well!
Hello! I'm Jess, lover of Jesus, my hubby, my kids, coffee and taking pictures. I am married to Ian, my high school sweetheart and partner in crime. We are figuring out this parenting thing on a daily basis. Our teachers are Connor (7), Isla (5) and the baby, Callum. Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to stay a while.