The other day Connor brought his stool in the bathroom and brushed his teeth like a big boy. When I was looking at the pictures I took of him doing this, I was struck by how grown up he looks. He isn't my baby anymore. And then I realized...I don't even remember the last time he fell asleep in my arms. It made my heart kind of sad. Sad that my little boy is growing up more and more every day. But at the same time, he is so dang cute. I can't stay sad for long because every time I look at that adorable face, I smile.
Since Isla was born, I have let her do her own thing as far as sleep goes. That means, she has pretty much always fallen asleep in our arms. Last night I decided to put her in her crib and see what would happen (she has been sleeping in bed with us). Low and behold, she went to sleep on her own, without crying. I was so proud of her.
Then I realized, I was sad over one of my babies no longer sleeping in my arms, yet happy because the other one actually went to sleep somewhere else besides my arms. Oh the irony!
Remember how I said it is a boost of confidence for my fat post baby body to look put together? And also remember my issues about not leaving my children behind?
Well, on Saturday night I got dressed up and went out with the husband and some friends. My mom was still in town, so I had to take advantage of having a babysitter I trust around, because she has already blown this town...rumor has it she left because she fears I will ask her to babysit too much. It was a fun time together...even if I did leak boobie juice all over myself. I had to go home to pump and change part of the way through the evening. Non-the-less, it was a fun time. I enjoyed getting out of the house again and getting dressed up.
Here is what I wore. Well, the first outfit anyway.
I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. I love them because of family getting together, days off work (well, for Ian), good food and more. I hate them because of the chaos they cause in my days. Shuttling children from one house to another to celebrate with both our families. Feeling like we have no downtime at all. And being at people's homes who aren't child friendly. It all stresses me out a bit. But still, we got to see our families, dress our kids up cute and eat a lot of food. Even though it was stressful, it was still good times.
And in case you are wondering, I hit up the black Friday deals...with my 6 week old. Not the brightest of ideas. I know she has her fussy time in the late evening (usually lasting until about 1am). And even out of the house, that fussy time still happened. At one point, while waiting in line for Target to open, I went and sat in the car to avoid the stares of others in line...I was getting a lot of them due to my screaming babe. I do need to give a shout out to my mom and friend Chandra who both took turns holding a screaming Isla for me. Thanks ladies!
Next year, I will be up for black Friday again. This time I will leave both kids at home. And, I won't hit up the mall. It was way too crowded and not very many good deals.
my beautiful babies
my awesome parents
a car that runs
I am thankful that everyday I get to live this life that I live with my adorable family by my side. The gift of staying home with my two babies and watching them grow is such a blessing. And doing this life with my awesome husband really is a blessing from God. I am so thankful for my little life!
Tonight was a big night for us. We went out for coffee without either of our kids. It was the first time we have left Isla with anyone. In case you are wondering, I have attachment issues with my kids. The only time Connor has been away from both of us overnight was when we had Isla. But back to the date night. We ran over to Starbucks for some adult time and it was bliss. Just sitting there calmly talking. Not having to think about entertaining little people. Or glancing over at them every five seconds. Just looking at my husband and talking. Bliss. Pure bliss. I am thinking we will have to do this more often. Of course, I will have to get over my attachment issues first. But for now I will just think about my blissful coffee date with the husband.
**Did I say bliss enough in this post?!? The bliss is kind of out of control!
We all act like its out kids who need naps, but really it is us moms that need that nap time. It is my time to recharge. To take some time for me. Be it sleep because I had an awful night the night before...gosh, I don't know why I wake up so many times at night! Come on Isla, sleep a little for mama. Or just recharging my batteries by connecting with the outside world. Reading the newspaper (I so love holding a real newspaper in my hands). Checking up on my blogger friends. Or just browsing online. That alone time really helps. It keeps me sane.
Before Isla was born, one of my friends gave me some advice. She told me to get my kids on the same nap schedule as soon as possible. And I now understand why. I NEED alone time. I need time to myself so I can be the best mom possible to my kids. And lets face it, I need time to clean the house a little so I am not ashamed when I have to open my front door to someone.
Nap time is bliss. But at the same time, there is just something about Connor waking up from his naps that makes my heart smile. He is in the best mood and always ready to play. And Isla, well she just wakes up hungry!
This is what happened right after Connor got up from his nap yesterday. He went and cuddled with his sissy! Melts my heart.
Before anyone close to me had a baby, I never realized that you still look pregnant after having a baby. AND, it has nothing to do with how much weight you did or didn't gain, but has to do with your uterus going back down to size. That bit of postpartum information was about all the information I knew before having Connor. I'm not going to share the nitty-gritty of life after vaginal birth that people didn't share with me. If I was talking in person with you, yes I would share. But over the world wide web, nope. What you will get though, is my take on my body after baby.
Sure, I've been through this before, so I knew what to expect. But that doesn't necessarily make it any easier. You see, it takes a while to get back to normal after having a baby. And trying to dress in this transition phase is all too challenging. First off, I breastfeed. Thus my boobs need to always be easily accessible. And with breastfeeding comes ginormious boobs. I don't like the ladies being on constant display and do try my best to cover them. However, as I have said before, I would have cleavage even in a turtleneck. Seriously. It's out of control.
Then there is the post baby pooch, or jelly belly as some like to call it. Really it only bothers me when I sit down and have it hanging over my pants. Gross! So, I normally pull my pants up and "tuck it in". This in fact is a problem I can fix...with exercise. I will actually need to put in some effort to fix it. And I have started exercising. Just the exercise itself helps my body image, even if it has yet to help my body.
Lastly are the childbearing hips. When giving birth vaginally, those suckers have to open wide. And as I recall, it took a few months for those bad boys to cinch back in after I had Connor. Thus, they have yet to go back in. And thus, I can get all my pants on, but buttoning them is a whole other issue!
And here I am today. I've lost almost all the weight I gained while pregnant, but can only fit in one pair of my jeans. And my maternity jeans aren't really an option anymore as they have become too big. And my shirts, while I can fit back in all of them, I have to think about access and how easy it would be to feed a child while wearing shirts. Thus, my selection of clothes is rather limited. But, I find when I actually put an outfit together, I feel much better about myself. I think the key for me is planning ahead. Making sure I have good decent fitting clothes, that match, always clean. And here is the reality of how my postpartum dressing played out today:
Last night, a random quote from a movie popped into my head:
I see pride. I see power. I see a badass mother who don't take no crap off nobody.
Then my mind was instantly filled with memories. Good memories all stemming from the movie Cool Runnings. Aww, Cool Runnings. We had it in VHS and watched it all the time. Speaking of VHS, remember actually having to rewind things? Craziness. But, back to Cool Runnings.
That movie inspired me and my brothers. For a little while, I knew I wanted to be a bobsledder. No joke. Maybe I felt like I could relate to the Jamaicans who had no snow to practice. I lived in Arizona. Glendale, Arizona. Snow was not right at my doorstep. So, my brothers and I practiced bobsledding using our wagon. We turned the handle around so the front person could steer. We practiced on our street. I even remember practicing while camping. We were legit. Legit while the movie inspired us. While the movie made us want to be destined for greatness. Greatness in bobsledding. Then we moved on to something else...Mighty Ducks probably came out about then and inspired us to be ice hockey players.
Oh the memories. I had such a good childhood. This memory makes me want to hunt down Cool Runnings and force my brothers to watch it with me on Thanksgiving. Then maybe we could pull out the wagon and do a little street bobsledding. Of course, we would have to find a VHS player first...that may be the hardest part of my whole plan.
Why hello there, month one. You sure flew by. I swear it goes by so much faster when babies are on the outside then on the inside. Maybe its because I don't want it to. Oh well.
Little miss Isla is growing like a weed. Seriously, this girl is gaining weight like no other. She's pretty much outgrown her newborn clothes and is filling out her 0-3 month clothes nicely. But its probably because she eats like a champ (ie: wants to eat all the freaking time!) and doesn't spit everything up like Connor did...my furniture thanks her for this!
Isla seems to sleep the best in the morning...which is both good and bad. Its good because it allows me to get ready relatively peacefully (I still have Connor running around). And its bad because it means her late evenings could use some improvement. She usually tends to be up until about 1am. But, in a couple weeks, I will be starting Isla on a schedule, so that should all change.
And, here are a couple pictures I took on her actual 1 month birthday (Sunday). Don't worry. We didn't celebrate with a cake or a party or anything. We aren't those parents...plus we already had Connor's birthday party that day!
Yesterday I switched Isla over to cloth diapers. That means both my babies now have fluffy bottoms. I decided not to use cloth with Isla right away just in case I was overwhelmed and couldn't handle all the laundry. In all honesty, I forgot how easy it is to cloth diaper a newborn. I don't even have to deal with the poop. It just washes off in the laundry. Easy peasy. And the colorful diapers look so freaking adorable on Isla.
Cloth diapers. Good for our finances. Good for our environment.
Starting to play with kids, rather than along side of them
Recognizes places (like Ian's work) when we are out and about
Foods - cheese, bananas, apples, corn, spaghetti
Trains, trains and more trains, or "choo-choos" as he calls them
Climbing on everything
Dad, Uncle, and Papa
(Apparently the women in his life don't rate high!)
I can hardly believe that my baby boy is two. Two years old. That doesn't sound very babyish. My little man is growing up on me. Fast. It seems like just yesterday he was born...okay, it really doesn't seem like yesterday, but you get the picture.
Size-wise, Connor is still a little guy with a huge head. He has to hold all that smartness in somewhere!
Connor has a serious obsession with "choo-choos". He wants to play with trains from the moment he gets up until the moment he goes to bed. He likes to take one or two with him when we leave the house. He would probably take all of them with him if I let him! And its not just playing with trains that Connor likes. He also likes train books and watching trains (Thomas the Tank Engine) on TV.
TV is a relatively new development for Connor. Until recently, it hasn't existed in his life. But, I have been allowing him to watch Thomas the Tank Engine. But even at that, I only let him watch it once a day. I don't want TV to become a huge fixture in his life. He tries for more though. Many times a day, he points at the TV and says "choo-choo", but his adorableness doesn't work on me! Well, in terms of TV time anyway.
In terms of talking, Connor has added many words to his vocabulary. Though, he doesn't always understand the exact meaning of the word. For instance, I am pretty sure he thinks "zizza" (pizza) is the word for all food, rather than just pizza. But it is cute to hear him say it all the time.
Connor is a very active little guy. People tell me all the time I am going to have to watch out for him as he grows up. And I have also heard numerous times, "he is just like your brothers." My brothers have broken many bones over the years, so I am thinking it is wise that we always invest in good heath insurance! All joking aside, Connor is quite the dare devil. He climbs everything in sight. Seriously. I caught him scaling the kitchen kitchen cabinets the other day. It amazes me. Connor also likes to climb onto things, then spin around, thus falling off high surfaces. Crazy guy!
As I have said on here before, Connor is obsessed in love with his "sissy". For the most part, he is gentle with her. But, I always have to watch out for when the orneriness comes out. He loves holding her. And he doesn't care how much she screams, he doesn't want us to take her away from him. Connor has even got to take a couple baths with Isla, which he loves. He just doesn't love it when I take her out. It really is cute (and makes my heart happy) how much he likes her.
The US Capitol Christmas Tree stopped in Modesto today on its way to Washington DC. I am going to ignore the fact that a 118 year old tree was cut down and focus on my going to see it.
Thinking this was a momentous occasion, I used all my effort getting myself and the kids ready and out of the house to go see the Christmas tree. When I got there, I noticed three semis parked in a row and saw no tree. I thought that maybe they had yet to unveil the tree. I soon found out that I drug myself and my kids down to see a semi...with a Christmas tree inside of it. So, we didn't exactly get to see the tree.
But, we did get to sign the side of the truck that contained the tree. I know. I know. You are jealous. To make your jealousy even worse, I read that these signatures are California's Christmas gift. Christmas gift to who? I have no clue, but I think to the rest of America. Wow. Your Christmas shopping is done America. You get signatures from the people of California. Isn't that all anyone has ever wanted?!?
In the end, I felt a little let down that I drug my children out of the house to stare at some big trucks. Of course, I did give America a present...that wonderful note I wrote. You're welcome!
A while back Ian won free tickets to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. With him getting time off to bond with Isla, we decided to take a day trip and take advantage of those free tickets.
At the aquarium, we discovered Connor may like to say "fishey" and feed the one he has at home, but he certainly doesn't like getting up close and personal with the big ones at the aquarium. He didn't care that there was glass to keep him safe, he didn't want close to the fish.
Before we got there, I thought for sure Connor would love touching the starfish. Nope. All we could do was get him to put the tip of his finger in the water. And it took a while to even get him to do that. Ian even tried letting him touch sea weed. Nope. He wanted nothing to do with any of it. But I touched a stingray and thought that was pretty cool. I was amazed how soft and slimy it was.
Alas, at the end of the day we found something Connor loved. The fake fish and water play in the infant play area. Figures! But hey, Connor had so much fun playing in it. He got himself soaking wet, but enjoyed himself to no end.
And Isla, her favorite part of the day? Being held and chilling on the "water bed" in the infant play area with her brother.
All in all, it was a good day. And next time (we still have more free tickets to the aquarium) we will spend more time in the kids play area.
Awesome: A guy striking up a conversation with me because we both graduated from the same school...I was wearing our school's sweatshirt Awkward: Him asking what I do for a living Awesome: Him saying "Oh yeah!" and giving me a high five when I told him I was a stay at home mom Awkward: Him saying he wouldn't have talked to me if my sweatshirt said Cal Poly Pomona (I went to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo) Awesome: Me feeling the exact same way about Cal Poly Pomona
Awesome: Borrowing people's newer-than-mine vehicles Awesome & Awkward: Realizing how easy it is to speed in newer vehicles because I can't "feel" my speed
Awesome: Listening to the radio Awkward: The DJ saying (on a Sunday) "You better get your ass to church". Uh, can you cuss when talking about church?
Awkward (or just plain miserable): Being out of the house before the sun is up Awesome: Watching a beautiful sunrise
Awesome: Taking Connor with me to the train station to drop my mom off so he could see a real "choo, choo" Awkward: The train being delayed by an hour Awesome: Connor and I running to pick up Ian and Isla and Starbucks and still making it back in time to watch the train Awkward: Connor caring more about the moving train than saying bye to his grandma
Awesome: I realized the other day I can bend over again without any-freaking-pain (or discomfort). Oh yeah! The ginormious belly is gone!
Awkward: Isla poops pretty much every time we change her...while we are changing her. Awesome: Watching her do it when someone else is changing her. Moo-ha-ha!!! Makes me laugh. Huge laughter.
Awesome: I took the kids for a walk Awkward: A guy in a truck yelled at me, "Want another one?" Awesome: I resisted the temptation to flip him off
If you said "nothing", I may be a little concerned for you right now.
When I was in the shower this morning, Connor climbed up on the bathroom counter and got down my canister of q-tips. He proceeded to clean his ears and then put back the dirty q-tips. Nice, right? And in case you are worried about the amount of ear wax on these dirty q-tips, Connor seems to have an extraordinarily large amount of ear wax. About that much comes out every single day.
I love how bundled up we are in this picture. It was 80 yesterday and not long after we took this picture, both Connor and I were shedding layers. We only put a onesie one under his costume, but he still got too hot. With his costume still on, we sent him into a bounce house to play. Combine the heat with all the jostling. Not a winning combination. He ended up pooping all over his costume...Ian thinks the bouncing made it all come out! But hey, we got cute pictures before that happened and that's all that really matters!
In case you couldn't tell, Connor was a monkey. There was a fake banana attached to his costume. He tried to eat it.
Ian and I tried to carve pumpkins. I generally fail at this task. I tried doing an owl, but pretty much cut the whole front off my pumpkin. Oh well. So people would know it was an owl, I wrote "hoot, hoot" on the side of the pumpkin. Why didn't I carve that in? Because it wouldn't have turned out! Trust me. And Ian's pumpkin? It is a face holding its hands up by its mouth, like it's scared.
Hello! I'm Jess, lover of Jesus, my hubby, my kids, coffee and taking pictures. I am married to Ian, my high school sweetheart and partner in crime. We are figuring out this parenting thing on a daily basis. Our teachers are Connor (7), Isla (5) and the baby, Callum. Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to stay a while.