Faith, Part 2

****This is my second entry in an unplanned series on faith. If you want to read the first entry, have at it***

I feel like I am on a journey, a journey discovering what faith means to me and a journey of having that small seed of faith inside me grow. Being raised in a Christian home, I took advantage of faith. It was something that was always there. But now, as an adult, I am having to discover what faith really means and how it applies to my life.

I have struggled for a while now with exactly what faith means. It is kind of an elusive thing to me. Kind of like a feeling. How do I act out a feeling? Well, when I came across something referring to faith as trust, a light clicked on for me. That just made sense. Having trust in God I could totally understand. Now learning to trust God for everything is the journey I am on.

I am an independent person. I am the person that says God gave us brains to figure out things on our own. I am the person that prays if it is your will. I am done with that...well trying to be.

Reading the bible, Jesus says over and over, your faith has made you well. I want that faith. I want the faith that makes me well, the faith that moves mountains. I know I can get it. My heart wants it. It is just figuring out how to get my head there. Figuring out how to trust in God and rely on him for everything. That is pretty big when you think about it.

I have been following this blog about a pastor's daughter in Southern California with cancer. After being declared cancer free in May, they found a tumor in her a week ago. An you know what scripture the dad puts on his blog? Job 1:20-22

Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said, ”Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.” Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.

That is the kind of faith I want. The kind of faith that puts my (and my family's) life in his hands. The kind of faith that completely knows that God is in charge. The kind of faith that is unwavering. The kind of faith that moves mountains. I know it can happen.

It all begins with trust...

Faith

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1

I've been thinking about things a lot lately, thinking about God. When I start thinking and searching, I realize that all my beliefs are based on faith. When you think about it, that really is a tall order...believing in something that there is really no evidence for.

For a very long time, I had a child-like faith. I never questioned, I just believed. Even now, I really don't question, I just wonder. And I actually notice, the more I wonder, the more questions I come up with.

Most of my questions aren't even deep. They more deal with life after death and how things will be in heaven...I mean, just thinking about eternity boggles my mind! I am curious about the makeup of our world...good vs. evil. What happens when we pray? Like, what goes on behind the scenes to determine an answered prayer versus and unanswered prayer. I believe that God answers prayers, but I also believe we live in a fallen world. So, is there some sort of spiritual battle going on when we pray?

One thing I am really intrigued by is how Jesus lived his life. When I read the bible, I kind of get the idea that he was a bit of a hippy. He did what he wanted. He hung out with who he wanted. He had a backbone. He stood up for himself, yet he accepted his lot in life. He had genius things to say, yet said them in common terms. We have a lot to learn from him.

I've always believed that my greatest way to witness to those around me is by how I live. I don't say this as a cop out. In fact, I am more than willing to talk about my beliefs with people. But, I realize many of my friends know my beliefs and don't want to talk about it. So, to me I think that means I keep on loving them as always and hope that eventually they will want to talk.

Faith, it is so complicated for being such a simple word. And even though I like the sound of Hebrews 11:1, it kind of baffles my mind. How can something that is in a sense a feeling, a thought be considered substance and evidence?

It all baffles my little mind.