2 years, 4 months, 15 days

That's how long I nursed Isla for.

Change is always hard. Even if it is necessary, it is hard. There are tears from a toddler wanting something she has had every single day of her life. It's all she has known. There is a mom dealing with engorgement* issues (yes, I still have engorgement issues this many YEARS in). And there are emotions from both of us. Most of mine comes from refusing Isla something she wants so badly. Something that is such a comfort for her.

I never thought I would find myself in this sort of situation, nursing (or now, weaning) a toddler. But I have and I no longer feel sorry for it. For a while there, I felt embarrassed by it. American society certainly shuns this sort of thing. But it happened and now I am ready to talk about my experience with it. 

When Isla turned a year old, she was still nursing around the clock. And just as I didn't take Connor's bottles (or formula) away at a year, I decided I wouldn't take "the boob" away from Isla. After a couple months, she seemed like she was weaning herself. She was down to only nursing 1-2 times a day. Then, at 19 months, her 2 year molars started coming in and well, she started nursing around the clock again. And, at that point, the nursing relationship changed. It became about comfort for her and not nourishment. It became a magic thing that would take the grumpies away, would put her to sleep, would calm her fits. And once that happened, it became hard to think about taking away. But, the time has come for that to happen. 

2 years, 4 months, 15 days. I am pretty dang proud of myself. 

I want to dispel some myths about breastfeeding a toddler:

* Breastfeeding a toddler is more for the mom than the toddler. This is SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH. From the beginning, I have breastfed on demand. Isla initiates it. As time has gone on, I set parameters. First I made it where I would only nurse her one place, in the chair in her room. When I started that, she would pat the chair and say "sit, mama". Then I started dropping times when she could feed. The past two months, it was only before bedtime. 

* Isla does eat "solids". And I was asked this a couple months ago at the doctor's office. Isla eats just as much as her brother does. Nursing hasn't stopped her eating just as switching to milk never stopped Connor from eating. 

* Isla can (and does) drink from a normal cup and a sippy cup. She didn't ever take to bottles, but she did take to sippy cups from a young age. 

* Breastfeeding isn't a sleep aid. In fact, Isla hasn't routinely fallen asleep while nursing for probably almost a year. 

Now that "my secret" is out there, I hope I can be a help, be an encouragement, to another mom that finds herself almost shamefully extended breastfeeding. It's a hard place to find yourself when no one around you has ever done it and most people find it weird. But, to be honest, after a while, I got to the point that I stopped caring what others thought. It worked for us and that is all that matters. 

Just remember moms (and dads), for everything with parenting - It works for you and your family and that is all that matters.

So there you have it. After 2 years, 4 months, 15 days, Isla is that much closer to leaving babyhood behind. 

* If anyone else finds themselves in this position, for engorgement, I have been drinking sage tea, using cabbage leaves for relief and taking ibuprofen. 

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She Drank What?

Isla drank milk and like didn't spit it out.

And I am guessing that unless you have a 19.5 month old that up until this point has only accepted cantaloupe juice (Friends reference...anyone?) you probably don't care. But trust me when I say, this is huge. Up until this point in her life, if Isla knew milk was in her cup she wouldn't even try it. On the off chance that I snuck it in without her knowledge, her first mouthful was always spit out and the rest of the cup was not touched. What can I say, cantaloupe juice is obviously better!

Given that this mama is starting to think toward weaning (especially since Isla is back up to nursing way too often) this is an exciting development in my life. And because I am sure there are some out there thinking "WHAT?! Did she just admit that she is still breastfeeding?" Yes. And to be honest, I never thought extended breastfeeding was for me. Heck, before I had kids, I didn't even think breastfeeding was for me. But, things happen and somehow I have found myself here today. And guess what? I am more open minded about a lot more things these days than I was a decade ago. Of course, there are just as many things that I am no longer open minded about. You know how it is.