Memories

It's no secret that I am a total sap when it comes to my kids. I never really considered myself emotional. Even now, I wouldn't say I am emotional, but definitely more so than I used to be. Especially when it comes to my kids. They just grow and change so freaking much. And it's not that I don't like who they are today, because they slay me daily with the things that come out of their mouths, so I certainly wouldn't want them to be nonverbal babies forever. But I love remembering the road we've traveled. 

Having Callum wear Connor's old clothes is like a fun walk down memory lane for me. That first year with Connor was a special one. It was my first year of motherhood and I was really trying to get my footing. But, it was also a special time spent in Scotland, a place so dear to my heart. I am not really picky about my kids clothes and really rarely buy them anything new (I know, I'm kind of cheap). So, if I buy something, it means I really liked it and more than likely that I will remember it. 

This particular outfit I bought for Connor in Scotland. I just love it. I love how soft it is. And I love that it is babyish without being overly cutesy. So I was pretty excited when it was chilly the other morning so I had an excuse to throw it on Callum. Connor wore this outfit numerous times, and I was pretty sure I had pictures of him in it at the park…and low and behold, I did. 

Just for reference, Connor is about two weeks older in these pictures than Callum is in the top picture. Connor was an expert crawler at this point, and also standing. Wowsers. This time around, I am happy for Callum to just keep sitting for a bit longer. Because life certainly will be changing around our house once that kid becomes mobile! Oh the joys of having older kids with toys that have insanely small parts…eek. These boys (and their sister), they have my heart. I just love them so.

I may not be super emotional, but I am totally feeling all the feels right now! And all because of a baby outfit. Yep, I am a total sap.

You can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest

Happy Birthday Ian

^^ Getting "help" opening his presents

I feel like I would be doing a disservice if I didn't even mention this amazing man and the fact that he celebrated another year of life. Like in real life, the kids take up a lot of my blog. But this man, the one that is so patient with all of us, the one who is always ready to take on my quirky ideas and go on whatever adventure I drum up, is pretty dang amazing. I fell hard for him seventeen and a half years ago. And I fall even harder for him today. I literally can't imagine my life without him. He is my best friend. It's crazy to think that we have been together half his life. 

I had booked a babysitter for Ian's birthday a month ago. We haven't been able to get out much since Callum came along and I miss having along time with this guy. I wanted to make sure we had his birthday to enjoy. I was so looking forward to a nice, slow evening out and coming home to the kids all tucked into bed. Unfortunately, a child vomiting left us scurrying home to the poor babysitter. Either way, I still enjoyed the time we had together. And I love the sense of "team" that I feel between us when we are dealing with the kids. 

Ian, I love you don't seem like enough. But I really do. I love the passion you have for your cars…and for your coffee. I love how you always push me to be a better me. I love how you love on our kids. And I love that still, after all these years, you give me a back massage whenever I ask…and even when I don't. You are an amazing man Ian Grimbleby. Here's to many, many more years of doing life with you! 

You can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest

36/52

Connor: Trying to grab fish. He then gave up and let them nibble on his finger. 

Isla: I couldn't believe how excited she was about this zucchini from our garden. It made me excited too. 

Callum: His second tooth broke the surface. And his top two teeth are swollen. 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2016."

You can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest

On Getting in the Picture

It's no secret that I like taking pictures of my kids. I have so incredibly many pictures of them. And, believe it or not, I look back through old pictures more often than you would think. I love how a picture can take you right back to that time and place. Even the setting of the photo elicits memories. Little things that aren't necessarily forgotten, but just not thought about, resurface instantly as soon as I look at a photo.

But I realize my kids probably won't enjoy just looking at photos of themselves all day long when they are grown. I certainly love looking at old pictures and seeing my mom when she had hair that went all the way down her back. Seeing pictures of my dad wearing shorts that are now deemed way too short for men to be wearing in public. Seeing us playing on the swing set my dad built for us. Or seeing family pictures from vacation.

I really want to get better at making sure Ian and I are present in pictures with our children. I want our kids to look back at photos and remember the love and joy that was present in our family. I want them to be able to make fun of us because of how much styles have changed over the years. I want them to remember us being there. Us being there for so many moments, both big and small. I really hope they will be able to look back at pictures and be flooded with happy memories from their childhoods.

Now, here's to me trying to step out from holding the camera from time to time and getting in the picture with my kids. Even if it means the picture is less than perfect…I need to shove that control freak in me down so my kids can look back and laugh at my glasses and my hair. And remember that I was there with them.

you can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest 

The house that was meant to be

^^ Yes, our house really is that green. I have gotten used to it and now find it quite useful. I just tell people coming over "It's the green house. You can't miss it!" Easiest directions ever. 

We weren't even looking for a house. In fact, we were starting to plan a major renovation on our house…and had put new flooring in the bathroom literally a week before I found this place. Sure we had looked at a couple of houses over the past few years. But none of them were right and we weren't in a search mode. All I knew is that our must have list included a guest house of some sort (for coffee stuff) and a master bedroom with bathroom…can you believe that in our 13+ years of marriage this is the first house we have lived in with a master bedroom?! And we have lived in a lot of houses. 

Pretty much everything that has come on the market in the past couple years in our area with a guest house has been crazy expensive. Like completely out of our reach. Hence why we were planning a major renovation. Then, somehow, this bright green house on the market caught my eye. I'm not sure why it did when it did. Especially since it had already been on the market a couple months. We bribed Ian's friend with a bad of coffee to show us the house. We liked it. We went back a week later for the open house. Still liked it. So we put in an offer…well below asking price. 

Then the back and forth began. We were squabbling over a couple thousand dollars, which I realize is just a drop in the bucket when buying a house. I remember being at my nephew's baby shower talking to one of my parent's friends, when she reminded me of that very fact. Then I told her, "What if something better comes along?" To which she told me the truth, "There will always be something better." In that conversation, she essentially convinced me to jump in with both feet. At this point, Ian wasn't having any reservations, just me. So we went for it. Even when the inspection report came back with something scary…which ended up really not being scary. And I'm glad we went for it.

Since home buying always feels so delicate, like it can fall apart at a moment's notice, I didn't allow myself to get excited. We had to sit there with signed documents and not fund because their tenant refused to leave! It was a bit of a roller coaster. I didn't really start packing until a week before our move. Stupid decision on my part. But, post move, I cannot be more excited about our house. 

It has just the right amount of character and charm. And it has just the right amount of updates to make it easily livable. It was built in 1939. It has a storage basement! And an attic with lights! It's four bedrooms, three baths. It really is only about 350 square feet bigger than our last house. But, it has a traditional layout and that has been amazing. Instead of having 1/3 of our space as a massive room, it's all spread out. We have a bigger living room, bigger dining room, bigger kitchen. The bigger dining room is probably my favorite because it makes it easier to have people over…and not make the kids sit in another room. 

We are still working on making the house ours. We have repainted almost the whole inside. All the same shade of light grey. There is just a little left of the hallways to go. We are putting baseboards down everywhere. All the bedrooms and the dining room are done, but we still need to do the hallways and living room. We have changed a bunch of light fixtures. And I changed the curtains in the dining room and all the bedrooms. We are slowing making progress and decisions on how to make it our own. But, I know it comes with time.

Either way, in the short two and a half months we have been here, we have already made plenty of memories. Connor started first grade. Both Connor and Isla have made great strides in the pool in that time. Callum cut his first tooth. This is the part I enjoy…taking a house and turning it into a home. 

In case you want to see, our living room and Connor's room. I will be sharing more of the house as I get things done.  

you can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest 

The Tide is Shifting

There is something about motherhood. It feels like every time you get your footing, things change again. I look back at the past almost seven years of my life and think of all the change, all the upheaval, it's just crazy. 

We had just moved to Aberdeen when I had Connor. I threw every ounce of my being into the small group at our new church that we started going to when Connor was less than a week old. It paid off big time. I made some amazing friends. They were all so different and helped me in different ways. But one in particular, one with three kids, helped me the most. She got me out of the house, both with Connor and without. She watched Connor so Ian and I could go on dates. She was amazing. Just what I needed in that new mothering season, when I had no family around. 

Then we moved home. That was interesting. Everyone and everything I thought I knew about Modesto had changed in the almost ten years of being gone. I had to make new friends. It happened. Slowly. It really wasn't until about two years in that I found my tribe. Things were stable and humming along there for a while. 

Then kids start school. The carefree, schedule less days of motherhood were behind us. But there was still plenty of fun to be had. Lots of it after school or late into the night, hanging out after the kids got to bed. 

Now I find things changing once again and honestly feel a bit lost. It started after I had Callum. Then lump on to it Connor now being in school all day. And all day school really makes for no time to get together with older kids. And Callum is a brilliant napper, making me want to hang around at home for those. And, on top of that, the fabulous moms I got to know through preschool have moved on from there and first grade isn't conducive to hanging out with the other class moms like kindergarten. I just feel a little lost in this new season. 

I know I will find my footing. I always do. But I feel like I am in a bit of a mourning period for the awesomeness that the last few years has been with some amazing friends in my life. And now, I find myself doing something rather difficult for introverts like myself, I am putting myself out there. Dating other moms, so to speak. 

It's a new season. 

you can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest 

35/52

Connor: Homework started this week. He acts like it's the end of the world…then he totally gets into it. Kind of like how he keeps saying school is "horrible", yet is back to playing school at home.

Isla: She is ready to be back to school and around kids again. But since her and Connor are now away from each other all day, they have been playing amazingly together in the evenings. 

Callum: Cut his first tooth this week. His sleep suffered tremendously. Here's to hoping the sleep part rebounds quickly! 

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2016."

You can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest