Where have all the bloggers gone?

I can remember a few years ago, excitedly checking the comments on my blog. The comments came from friends I had made in the blog world and were almost like a conversation that went back and forth between us. I felt like I knew these people through their blogs. They felt like true friends. I had connections with them. 

All of us wrote about mundane things in our lives. None of us had the best pictures. Yet, there was a very real connection. One for a long time I had trouble explaining to other people. 

And now it's gone. 

My blogger feed is all but empty these days. Literally every single last friend I made doesn't blog anymore. All for one reason or another. A couple tried going pro and their content became sponsored post after sponsored post and no longer real or interesting to me. But most just stopped. 

I've reconnected with a few on instagram. Which, people did predict that instagram would kill the blog. But, it's just not the same. A two line post under a little square picture just isn't the same as a long post about, say, what you did over the weekend or what you wore out on a date with your husband. 

And I miss it. 

I miss the very real connection I felt with these people. I miss feeling like I was having conversations with friends over the mundane things in life. These conversations were easy because they could come during nap time or after the kids were in bed. They could happen at home on the couch or while I was sitting in the car. 

So, if any of my old blogging peeps are out there, just know this…we had a good few years. I really enjoyed your friendship. And I miss the "conversations" we had and hearing about the mundane and exciting happenings of your life. 

You can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest

Growing Up Online

Even though I don't mean to, I sort of internally pay attention to how many pictures I take and post of each of my kids. I almost feel guilty when I have a long string of pictures posted of one child (clears throat...Isla) and none of the other. But, more and more, I find there being a shift as Connor ages. One I am sure will happen with Isla eventually too...then I will have to take to posting selfies and talking about myself all the time...NOT.

A year or two ago, things in my life seemed much more Connor centered than Isla. He was the one always saying cute things before she could even talk. He would ham it up for the camera and was always doing something silly. He had all the adorable preschool art and parties while Isla was still at home hanging with her 'ole mom. Then something happened. Connor began to become more and more of his own person, more and more of a grown person. He doesn't love the camera like he used to. And often times I even find myself protecting his privacy. There are things he does or says that are hysterical, but aren't appropriate to share with the world...like super funny. The stuff that comes out of five year olds mouths is amazing. I know, you thought I shared everything, but I don't. You see, even if I stop blogging someday, this blog will live on in the internet. And high schoolers can be mean...heck, five year olds are mean! I would never ever want to post something that Connor's friends (or enemies) could find and use to make fun of him. So, more and more, the really crazy, absurd, hysterical things he says and does becomes things I share with people in person, not something I put out for the whole world to see.

So while I sit around and try to figure out how to make sure both my kids get enough love on social media (yep, I'm crazy), just know it's my love and respect for my growing children, Connor specifically right now, that keeps me from posting about him as much.

I'm curious, how do you handle posting (on facebook, instagram, blog, etc.) about your kids as they age? Have you waited until your kids asked you to stop? Or did you naturally find yourself stopping out of respect for your child?

You can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest 

The End of an Era

...or the beginning, depending how you look at it. 

I have been blogging in this space for almost seven years. Except for changing up the look from time to time, the blog has remained virtually the same. It has always been me blogging about my life. Obviously, along the way, a couple key players have been added to my life (Connor and Isla). 

^^ 2007 Jessica...I took this picture and used it in my "goodbye" to my work when I left California for Scotland. I have matured a little since then.

After everything that happened last week, I decided I wanted to be able to watermark my images with something that more easily pointed back to me, than "Life as I know it". There are literally thousands of blogs with that name. So, I sat trying to come up with a few different names. I quickly remembered, it isn't all about me anymore and I wanted my new blog name to reflect that. So, "Jess and the gang" was born. 

For those of you that haven't been around from the beginning, I actually started my blog saying, 

We all have things we want to be when we grow up - a youth pastor, a doctor, a social worker, a nurse, a boutique owner...just to name a few of my aspirations. Even though I don't have nailed down what I want to be, I can tell you what I don't want. I don't want to be sitting around when I am old, talking to my grandchildren and not having any adventures to tell them. So here is me, making some adventures...

^^ I used to live there (Edinburgh, Scotland)?!

And, seven years ago, there were many adventures to document. These days, the travel type adventures don't happen so often anymore, but the adventures in potty training, temper tantrums, lego building and more are still alive and happening. Like I said, life has become less about me and more about my gang. 

Thanks to my loyal readers for sticking around for so long and listening to me rant and rave about anything that pops into my head. I'm looking forward to keeping the stories of me and my gang coming. 

You can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest 

The "other" side of the internet

Yesterday I woke up to an interesting comment on my blog. One that has since been deleted by it's author. But, basically they told me there is someone out there who is acting like my kid's mom and created a website for them (more specifically Isla, but included a lot of pictures of Connor too). A simple search of the website brought up a video for Isla's birthday of pictures of her from my blog. That you tube video led me to more videos of our kids. Then, in the afternoon, I had a girl reach out to me on facebook saying she was duped by this mom and made videos for the mom of my kids and everything. And now, of course, she is confused and sad that this person duped her. And, I can easily say, I am sad and confused as well. Of course, one of the videos has over 2000 views, so my kids are a bit of a you tube sensation, but I digress... 

My first reaction when this all happened was to get rid of everything internet related. I immediately set my instagram to private and deleted every person I didn't know who was following me. Then I started thinking about my blog. This place means so much to me. It is where I have chronicled the last (almost) 7 years of my life. It is where I have met and also reconnected with people. It isn't something I want to give up. BUT, from now on out, I will watermark all my images so that if someone tries to be my kids fake mom again, it will easily be caught. Though I am curious, how does fake mom deal with the temper tantrums? Does she have a secret for them that I don't know about? I kid. 

I would also like to remind everyone that no one is safe and it isn't just blogs this happens to. Last year, a friend of mine had her images taken on instagram and used in child role play, also on instagram. Numerous people I know have had duplicate accounts set up on facebook - where someone makes an account just like yours and refriends all your friends. In fact, my kids fake mom was using my pictures of them on her facebook page. 

Everything we put on the internet makes us vulnerable. Do you have a photo sharing site? It could happen to you. Do you have a facebook site? It could happen to you. Do you put pictures on Twitter or Instagram? It could happen to you too. The crazy thing is, this has been going on for more than a year (that I can tell) with my kids and had I never been told, I wouldn't have known. Because, really, the internet is such a vast place, how would I have found it? And after doing some research, it seems that people are always tipped off by a blog reader or a friend who sees a picture...so way to have my back folks! 

Bar not being on the internet at all, we will never be safe from it all. But, here are a few tips to help keep yourself more safe. 

1. Image watermarking - Though this isn't a guarantee that your images won't be used, as watermarks can be cropped out or blurred, it is more of a deterrent. 

2. Facebook - make your account private and be sure to privatize your photos as well. 

3. Don't put ANYTHING out there that you won't want to be shared. People use children's images for all sorts of things and an innocent picture of your child half dressed could be used in another manner. 

The craziest thing of all, is besides copyright infringement, there is nothing you can do to stop this. If you find your images being used, contact the web host. One of the people who reached out to me about my kid's fake mom complained to facebook and that page has already been deleted, though I found some cached information from that page with my kids names on it...eeek! Fake mom called Isla "Isla Marie" and she even used my first name, but a different last name. 

I have always been cautious of the pictures I post of my kids online. I didn't do it because I was afraid someone would act like their mom, but because I would never want to accidentally sexualize my children. And, I have to say, this whole thing makes me so glad that I was already cautious of what I posted. 

Going forward, I will continue to blog. Being apart of the online community is a part of life for me (and mostly everyone out there!), so I can't allow this scare to keep me away. I will try to be smart about what I put out there though. And if you ever find my kids on someone else's site or account, please let me know. Thanks!



Update: After writing this, I discovered a facebook page for the fake mom, as well as an instagram account. Thanks to people jumping on and reporting the fraud, the facebook account was quickly taken down. If you or a friend ever finds yourself in a situation like this, here is a great article to help you deal with it. 

You can also find me on:

bloglovin // instagram // pinterest