Bucket Lists and Biking the Bay Bridge

Years ago I made a bucket list of things I would like to do and biking the bay bridge from Oakland to Treasure Island was on it. Alas, we had never done it. We found ourselves with a kid free day on Saturday and decided to do just that. We parked at the Cal Trans parking lot at 210 Burma Rd. From there it is just half a mile to the start of the bridge, so each way from our car to the end of the bridge was 3 miles. I was nervous about biking up the bridge. After all, the whole way is up and that looks like quite the incline. Well, I am happy to say that "slow and steady wins the race". I may have biked it as fast a a guy ran it, but I managed to do it without stopping and without wearing myself out. I was proud! If we do it again, which I would totally be up for, I think I would pack a picnic lunch and eat it at the end where you have a beautiful view of the bridge. Going down was where the true fun was. It felt fun to go fast and feel the wind. It also felt so freeing. So, so freeing. I loved that feeling. 

After doing this, I decided to look up the bucket list I made years ago. There are a couple things on the list we have done and a couple that made Ian and I chuckle. For instance, I put take the kids to Sea World. We have gone to San Diego twice and I didn't feel the need to go there. But apparently when I wrote this list I did. We are still talking about Australia. Ian says Willa has to be a bit older, as toddlers on a long plane ride are no fun. But we are planning for maybe in 2.5 years. I would love to take one of the kids to NYC, as a special trip and walk the High Line. As for snorkeling, I think Willa and Callum need to be a bit older to do a real snorkeling expedition. Now to just not be lazy and go watch a sunrise one of these days...I am not exactly a morning person. 

Walk/bike across the Bay Bridge

Go kaiking

Walk on the High Line in NYC

Ride in a helicopter

Visit Treasure Island

Go to North Carolina

Take the kids to Sea World

Go to Australia

Take the kids snorkeling

Watch a sunrise

Stay on a boat in Amsterdam

Take the kids on the Durango-Silverton Railroad

Visit New England in the fall

Let me tell you a funny story about the train in Durango, CO. We didn't end up riding it because it was a several hour journey and we didn't think the kids were up for it. But we parked along the track to take the kids to smash pennies...something I did with this very same train as a child many times. So, imagine this moment. I drag all of us to the train track to smash pennies. I have told the kids how cool it is. We lay the pennies out and step back. I get the kids set up to wave at the train. About when the train was even with the kids, it started honking its horn. The kids freaked. Isla ran and tripped over Connor. Both were on the ground, trying to get as far away as possible, as quick as possible. Ian said the train conductor was laughing. I am sure the passengers thought we were horrible parents. Thankfully, the kids quickly got over it and were excited to search for their smashed pennies. 

I wish this was my only parenting fail like this, alas it was not. Connor still talks about him and I digging up a crab on the beach in Hawaii and it jumping at us, sending him and I running away screaming. I digress. The good news is, I don't think taking your children on the bay bridge would cause any trauma! Well, maybe some complaining riding the slope up. Haha!

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On Connecting with Your Spouse

^^ We don't get out much and when we do, I always have to document it with a little couple selfie

I was blown away at how many people so quickly read my post death to the weekly date night myth. Then again, I probably shouldn't have been. There is so much pressure on us these days to do ALL THE THINGS and do them right. And sometimes, lets be honest, most of the time, we just can't live up to that "pinterest standard". Anyway, that post was shared several times on facebook and I was able to view the comments on all the shares. The one that stood out to me, and gave me a good laugh, was from a guy who admitted he is currently childless. But, he informed everyone that his marriage will always come before his children…and I may or may not have gotten a huge kick out of all the mama's that told him to come talk after him and his wife had a couple kids.  

First, I would like to state that I never said that Ian does not come before our children…hypothetically. Because, let's be honest here for a moment. In the real now, my children really need us. I nurse a baby. I wipe bums. I make several meals and snacks a day. I change beds that were wet in. I do laundry. I do bath time. And guess what, all of this are things that HAVE TO GET DONE. And they are things that have to get done even if I wanted to just spend some alone time with Ian. So physically, yes my children come first in our house. Emotionally, my husband is my rock, not my children. 

Really, what I want to talk about is there are so many ways to connect with your spouse outside of date nights. I think so often in the hustle and bustle of life with small children, we feel so worn out and feel like we have so little to offer our spouse. But, for me, a cup of coffee and 20 minutes spent chatting with each other without distraction is like gold and totally fills me up. Also, eating dinner just the two of us from time to time really is nice. This can happen after the kids or in bed, or on a Friday night by letting the kids eat dinner in front of a movie while we eat in the dining room. 

When our kids are infants, I always find that the hardest time to connect. And really that is because infants (especially breastfed ones) need their mama's all the time. It was actually because of that, that I did 12 date of Christmas for Ian. Yes, many of the dates were at home, but doing intentional things, just the two of us, really was fun. And I will never forget us riding the go karts in the freezing cold, the only people out on the track, acting like a couple of loonies, having the time of our lives. 

All this to say that small moments mater. Small gestures matter. Making sure your spouse knows you think about them and love them matters. Even if you feel like you have nothing left to give, write your hubby a note during nap time and mail it to him at work. It will surely put a smile on his face. 

Also, once upon a time, I shared 50 date night ideas and many of them were at home date ideas that can totally be done after the kids go to bed. Plus, it's always good to have date ideas because when those date nights do come around, chances are my brain cells have all been used up during the day and I can't think of ideas for things to do right then!  

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50 Date Night Ideas

With valentines being this week, I thought it would be fun to come up with a list of date night ideas...not necessarily for valentines day, but just inspiration. After doing "12 dates of Christmas" a couple times, I have learned coming up with ideas are the hardest part. And since lists of any kind help me, I ended up writing down date ideas. We certainly haven't done all the ideas on this list, but we have done a lot. So here you go, 50 date night ideas courtesy of yours truly. 

The key to a date night is putting a little thought into it and planning it ahead. Having a direction rather than getting in the car and saying, "Which restaurant?" is ALWAYS better, more relaxing and fun. Great date nights come in all shapes and sizes - simple, cheap, active, fun, expensive, over-the-top, etc. Find things that you and your spouse will make memories doing together and get some bonding time in. 

At Home:

Once you have kids, I feel like date nights at home become really important. It can be hard to find a sitter and can also be expensive, not to mention there may not be money in the budget for leaving the house. But that doesn't mean you can't have fun at home. They key is planning ahead and making it fun. Planning a game night? Decorate the table and have the game ready to go. Going to enjoy wine and cheese together? Change up the scenery a bit and enjoy it on the front porch. 

• Dessert - homemade, store bought, easy or over the top, just makes it special...it's all about presentation! 
• Wine & cheese
• Coffee & chocolate
• Game night
• Smores
• Do a workout together (if you don't want to get a dvd, you tube a workout and follow along to it)
• Wii competition (dancing, bowling, etc.)
• Picnic in the back yard
• Bake cookies (or any other item) together
• Pick a book and take turns reading to each other (probably not reading the whole book in one night, unless you have way better attention span than I do)
• Daydream together - Plan your dream vacation, what your dream house would look like, life goals, etc. 
• Set a timer and take turns giving each other massages
• Watch an episode of each other's favorite tv show 
• Wait until the kids are in bed, then make and enjoy a gourmet meal together
• Watch a movie (hello. redbox!)

Cheap & Fun:

• Go karts
• Putt-putt golf
• Go to the thrift store set a budget and choose and outfit for each other (we did this and then went out to dinner in our outfits. It was fun.)
• Watch the sunset
• Coffee
• Dessert
• Try a new restaurant
• Have a picnic somewhere
• DIY couple pictures - find a fun background and takes pictures together and of each other
• Go garage saleing and pick out something for your home together 
• Breakfast date
• Go to the movies
• Go test drive each other's favorite car
• Go to a concert 
• Park by the airport and watch the planes take off and land
• Restaurant hop/progressive dinner - Go to a different restaurant for each course 
• Get super dressed up and go out to fast food together...or if you want to be taken seriously, you could go to a nice restaurant. 
• Go to a museum 
• Go berry picking
• Go to the beach
• Take a painting class, or just go to a painting studio and paint
• Drive around your city and pick out your dream home
• Be tourists in your own city...hey, even Modesto has tourist destinations, so no excuses! 
• Go hot tubbing (at the gym, someone's house who has a hot tub, or a hot springs where you can rent by the hour)
• Go to a farmer's market. If you want to be really adventurous, go to one that isn't in your city.
• Go bowling
• Go to the theatre or a performance

Active:

• Hike
• Run a 5k together
• Go on a bike ride (make the bike ride really fun by renting a tandem bike)
• Play tennis at a local park
• Dance lessons
• Go to the local driving range and hit a bucket of balls together 
• Fly kites
• Go to the batting cages 

Sometimes all you want is something simple, like grabbing coffee, getting in the car, going for a drive and just talking. Other times it is fun to get all dolled up and head to a fancy restaurant. Whatever it is cheap or expensive, easy or difficult, small or large, the point is about connecting with your spouse and making memories. 

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The Twelve Dates of Christmas {2012}

Last year I tried something new in December with Ian. I copied someone else and did the twelve dates of Christmas with Ian. I really didn't put much planning into it. I basically decided on the day what I wanted to do and wrote a note to Ian telling him what we were going to do. Between having a newborn and the lack of planning of dates, we didn't do twelve dates. So, this year I decided to plan. 

First I listed out all my date ideas. I knew I didn't want any two dates alike (i.e. only one dinner date, etc.). I also knew six dates were going to happen at home because lets face it, baby sitting twelve times in twenty-four days is just a little much. Then I took a december calendar and started filling in days with dates. Lastly, I decided to up the ante a little bit and made a book for Ian that holds the information for each date. 

Each date is enclosed in an envelope, so they are a surprise. On the outside of the envelope is the date the date is going to happen (follow that? date, date...yep, you got it!). And I normally let Ian open the envelope an hour or two before the date so he knows what to expect. 

So far we have been on three dates - breakfast at a restaurant, wine & cheese at home (after the kids were in bed!) and a dinner date. I can't tell you the rest of them as Ian doesn't know! But I am excited. Though I mostly chose things we love, I threw a couple in there of things we never do, so it should be fun! Now I feel like I am not only keeping Ian in suspense, but all of you as well...fun times!