Friendship

** Just to get it out there, we literally laughed when 3 out of 4 of us showed up wearing scarves. Apparently that's what mom's do when they go out...wear scarves and take bathroom selfies. 

It's crazy to think how my relationships with friends have changed over the years. And I'm not even talking about relationships with specific friends, but relationships in general. 

The other day I was in a conversation with a mom who had a high schooler and it got me reminiscing. I remember how it was literally the end of my life it I had to be home for more than, say, 15 minutes. These days, the thought of leaving the house can feel daunting at times. Taking three kids to the mall just to relax and browse...well I would rather stab a pencil in my eye and relax at the hospital than do that. Yeah, slight exaggeration, but you get the point. At the end of a long day, after making numerous meals and snacks, doing school runs up the wazoo, changing diapers and keeping the house in a semi orderly state, the last thing I want to do is go out with friends. Because of this, my relationships have suffered. 

Friendships require effort. And just like marriages, they require sacrifice. Sometimes that sacrifice is staying out of my pjs for a couple hours longer and filling my soul by laughing my head off with good friends. Good friends are really worth their weight in gold.

Besides attempting to be a better friend through sending notes, reaching out, helping, etc, one thing I want to do this year is actually go out and enjoy myself more with my friends. Because, let's be honest, a play date with 13 kids and 4 moms is hardly relaxing! Yeah, all my friends have a crap load of kids. No, one and done happening here in Modesto!

And here's what's ironic. I never ever wish I had just stayed home. I am always glad I went out...even if I regret it the next morning. But even then, there are the group texts with us all whining together about being tired and comradery is always a good thing.

So here's to a year of dating my friends. Of staying out of my pjs a little bit longer and laughing hysterically together. Of finding people to watch our kids so we can bare our souls to each other over coffee. Because, my tribe, you really are worth it.

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Snow Day

While everyone else was gathered around tv sets watching the super bowl, we were up in the mountains enjoying some snow play. I actually joked to my brother the day before that we were going to spend several hours in the car for 20 minutes of snow play. Thankfully, it went better than that!

^^ Somehow, in a way only Isla can do, she ended up going down the hill backwards...when she started out going down the right way. 

When we got to the snow, the kids really did only manage about 20 or 30 minutes of play before starting to complain. I was thinking that I couldn't believe my joke was actually becoming a reality. But, we went back to the car and filled up their bellies with food and they were then ready for round two. On round two, I wore Callum on my back, which made things much easier for all of us. Also, we walked down to the frozen lake to play, which was super fun. Connor enjoyed riding all the little ice hills and the kids just had fun with how much more slippery the lake was. This time, we actually had to force them to leave.  It ended up being quite the good and fun day.

Speaking of the frozen lake, I've never been on one before. I was pretty paranoid about the whole thing. The ice was several inches thick, but I still felt paranoid. I actually jumped up and down on it a few times to make sure it was safe for the kids. And, I certainly didn't want to wonder all the way across it like some people were doing. You know, just in case. It felt a bit like a bucket list item. One I had never even thought of before, but was super cool doing.

And because this is my new obsession, here is a little video from our day.

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Our Dining Room

^^ Those shadows on the ground literally make me giddy. Plus, house plants...my new obsession. 

^^ The view of the dining room from the kitchen.

I never knew I could love a dining room so much until we moved into this house. The way the sunlight fills this room for so much of the day constantly draws me in. I find myself enjoying sitting in here to read the paper, chat with friends, color with Isla and more. I don't know if I will ever stop being giddy at the shadows of the pane windows on the ground. It really is one of my favorite things.

Our dining room is off the front of the house, connected to the kitchen. In our old house, you essentially had to walk through the dining room to get anywhere in the house. So it became a dumping grounds and I hated that. Plus, it was small and we realistically couldn't seat more than our family to eat, so it made it really difficult to have people over. Well, all that has changed here. And in the seven months that we have lived here, we have probably had more people over for dinner than in the five years we lived at our last house. No joke. Not only is our dining room much larger, but we also now have a nine foot long dining room table. Sure, we don't own enough chairs for it, but it just allows those Ikea folding chairs we bought when we first got married to get some use! I work hard at keeping the table from being a catch all. Even though it collects things, I try to make sure it's cleared off daily.

Since buying the house, we took the doors off the dining room that essentially closed the dining room off from the entryway of our house. I'm not huge on interior doors, plus they took up a lot of room when open. We did leave the door on between the kitchen and dining room, though I have never actually shut it for any other reason than to block Callum. We also painted over the olive green paint that made the room look like a dark dungeon and painted it the same grey as the rest of the house. And it got baseboards, like the rest of the house. I replaced the curtains that were hanging in there, but kept the sheer curtains they had up because I like the privacy they give. We replaced the light fixture as well. They had a shell chandelier up. Not my style at all...and really not the style of almost anyone that saw it. One of my good friends totally dug it though. That cracked me up. Ian actually picked out the light we went with. Everything else is from our old house - the lockers, wine glass shelves (they were in our old kitchen), etc. I got the house plant for in here at the same time as the one in our bedroom. I need to get a proper stand for it, but for the time being, it gets to rest upon an antique toddler chair. I now realize I never took a picture of the corner opposite of the house plant, but all it houses is Callum's high chair...and the reality is that corner is the most used corner in the room because the boy likes to eat!

So there you have it, our dining room. Want to come over and use, err, I mean see it? Offer to bring dinner and I'll totally let you ;)

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Meet Gilly...our new pet

I'm not sure how I get wrangled into these types of things. Actually, I am. I am a total sucker for anything sort of educational that I think the kids will enjoy. I didn't expect them to be SO into Gilly...yeah, they named him Gilly. Connor picked it. Gilly is our tadpole, our "grow a frog". Some sort of frog that is made in a laboratory and only lives in water. He arrived in the mail, in a bag full of water. Poor guy seemed traumatized too. We have the privilege of watching/nursing him through metamorphosis. And apparently when he is a froglet (which Connor has informed me means when his tail is less than 1/8" long) we can start feeding him pieces of earthworms. It was about then that I asked myself for the twenty-third time, WHAT DID I GET MYSELF IN TO?! But they will learn, right? And it isn't a dog gnawing on my furniture or a cat who's litter I have to deal with. Wow, I am such a buzz kill when it comes to pets. Baby steps though. Connor reminded me that we once had a goldfish. First a goldfish, now a grow a frog. What next?

I really am warming up to the idea of a small dog...one with little poops, that doesn't shed. Not that I'm picky or anything. 

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Book Love: For the Love

You guys, before I had kids, I was an insane reader. Like I would tear through books in a day or two. In fact, the night before I went into labor with Connor, I stayed up waaaay too late trying to finish a book. Consequently, I ended up facing a 25 hour labor with only 1.5 hours sleep. Not the best of choices in hind sight, and one I really don't recommend. But, I finished the book. So, yay me.

Anyway, recently I have been trying to get back into reading books. I started reading Harry Potter with Connor before bedtime and I totally cherish our time together. Cuddled up in his bed, his head rested on my shoulder. I totally dig it. And I totally dig how excited he gets when we are reading it too. But, I also have been wanting to read some books for me. So, I have been trying to sneak off to bed a little earlier than usual and spend some time reading before I go to sleep. First up on the docket, Jen Hatmaker's For the Love.

Speaking of Jen Hatmaker, also known as my future bff, I've read a couple book of her's before...because how would I be a good bff if I wasn't supportive?! I also follow her on instagram, because, HELLO, she is my future bff. Which, if you aren't following her, do yourself a favor and start following her and thank me later. She is equal parts inspiring, hilarious, brutally honest and introspective. Just go follow her.

But back to the book. Any book that can make me laugh hysterically, read my husband stupidly funny things, then smack me in the face with things I need to work on is so worth my time. Between her giving me permission to rid my life of toxic people and to her ode to leggings, I just love the girl. And her letters to the church, wow. It's true. Why de we christians treat each other like dog poop on the bottom of our shoes then are surprised that the world hates us so much?! Of course, look how so many of us treat non-christians too. And there you have my takeaway...love.

Love Christ. Love the church. Love your husband. Love your children. Love your friends. Love them well. Love never fails. Like it really doesn't. Just ask my friend Bryana...she has an amazing story of love, mercy and redemption. And read For the Love. My bff Jen will tell you the same...with a side note about boundaries because abusive relationships aren't ok. But that's why I love my bff Jen. She remembers to tell it like it is.

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Three Kids

I forgot how much time and energy a baby takes when they are sick. And it seems magnified with two other kids around. Oh, I still have to make sure homework gets done when I am dealing with a sick baby? And bath time? Wait, you kids want to be fed?! 

Callum got sick for a few days. Everyone was healthy for like two days, then Connor got it. Connor returned back to normal and the next day Callum came back down with a fever. This compiled with Callum's new skill of standing in his crib constantly has left me wanting to rock myself while curled up in a ball in the corner. But, the silver lining of it all is, Ian and I started taking shifts at night. I literally don't know why we didn't start this before.

Nights used to go, when I was at my wits end, I would wake Ian. For the past couple nights, Ian has taken the first half of the night and me the second half. It allows us both to get some uninterrupted sleep. Sure, I am going to bed early for the night owl that is myself. But, honestly, I am so tired anyway that it hasn't much mattered.

Now to get Callum healthy again so we can kick this whole standing in his crib all night thing and all get some sleep again!

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Spicy Isla

I like to call Isla spicy. Her teachers have referred to her has free spirited. And there have been many other descriptive words said over the past couple years. All I know is that I get nervous for her starting school. I don't want the rigid, structured world of school to squash that spicy, free spirit out in her. She is an artist. She loves to dance...in ballet, she loves staring at herself in the mirror and dancing how she wants, not necessarily how the teacher wants. She loves to sing, make up silly stories and to make people laugh. She's independent and amazing at playing by herself.

I have really been mulling over how to make her a respectful child that follows necessary rules, but doing so without pushing her into certain boxes and without squashing that spicy spirit in her. I must say though, I do get encouraged when other moms say things like, "Isla reminds me of my (insert adorable name here)." This is usually followed by a conversation in which they share with me hysterical stories about their free spirited children. Stories that usually involve said child's school experience not going quite the same as what typically is their rule following older sibling (hello, first borns!).

If anyone has navigated this before me and has any pearls of wisdom, I'd love to hear. Or, if you feel like you are the free spirited type, I would love to hear what you feel your parents did that did or did not work for you.

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