This is Your Life

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose
- Switchfoot

I am not one for irony or reading in to things, BUT this week, it seems like everywhere I go, everything I read, everything I see is about life. About if "you" are happy with your life, your choices, what you have become. And I feel it is one of the blessings in my life that I can honestly say yes to that.

I believe that all our choices make an impact on our lives. When I was on a walk with Connor the other day, pondering all this "life" stuff, I was thinking how I could have changed my life with decisions I made early on. When I was younger, I really wanted to be a doctor. After taking some classing in college, I decided I just didn't have the energy (or willpower) to study for all those classes. Call it lazy, call it whatever you want, it was a choice. And I was thinking, it was the right choice for me.

Having a family is my dream. Had I become a doctor, I would be in the middle of an internship right now...years away from parenting. Up until I had Connor, I always thought I would be one of those mothers itching to go back to work. Surprising to me, I am not. I love and cherish my time with Connor. Yes there are days that are hard. And yes, there are times I feel worthless to the world because all I do is change dirty diapers, do the laundry, make dinner. But I also realize, it is what I want. I want to be the one doing those things for my son. I want to be the one reading him books, and teaching him how to talk. I want to be the one with him when he is experiencing so many things for the first time.

Life is a choice. All our decisions, all our choices bring us to where we are today. If we aren't happy with our life, we only have ourselves to blame. If we want our life to be different, we are the only ones who can change it.

I have dreams outside of being a mother. And I do plan on achieving them. To some they may be insignificant, but to me they are important. I will work toward those dreams while living my today...while enjoying my today...knowing that this beautiful life is everything I hoped for, everything I dreamed of, everything I worked so hard toward...

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