The bible has a lot to say about gossip. From it referring to our tongues as a sword (Proverbs 5:4), to gossip being put in the same category as being a murderer or thief (1 Peter 4:15). Everyone out there knows, though may not admit, that words can hurt us just about more than physical pain. Its hard to forget things said about or to us. Right now I want to focus on what is said about us/others.

As a teenager I gossiped just as good as everyone else. As I got older, I realized how much gossip hurts people. For years now I have made a conscious effort to not gossip or partake in gossip. And to be honest, I haven't been challenged with gossip for a while. That is, until I moved back home. Yeah home, you know the place. The place where you are from where everyone knows everyone and everyone is involved in everyone's business. Its a breeding ground for gossip.

Since moving home, I have been on the being gossiped about end. No matter how much Ian tells me to ignore it or my friends tell me to take it as a complement, it still hurts. It hurts when people say untrue things about you. But what really hurts is the fact that there are people out there that actually believe those lies about me. That is what hurts. And really, that is what is scary.

More challenging than dealing with being gossiped about is trying to stay out of gossiping about others. It seems like everywhere I turn, people are gossiping. And it kind of makes me sick. Like physically ill. Does anyone really want to have crap talked about them? I am guessing not. So why do we as humans get such pleasure at passing on some juicy crap (whether true or not) about others? The reality is, because it makes us feel better about ourselves.

There is one area I have been really challenged in since moving home. I am reconnecting with people I haven't seen or talked to in years. People I don't know (currently) that well. So, when I am hanging out with people and they start gossiping, I often find myself at a loss as to how to respond. Sure, I don't participate. But because I am not all that comfortable, I don't stop the gossip either. It is easy (well, doable) for me to stand up to friends and tell them to stop talking crap, but standing up to others I don't feel comfortable around? That is hard.

That is where I find myself today. Trying to figure out how not to be sucked back into the life of gossip, yet wanting to make friends, yet realizing that I don't really trust people who gossip, cause how do I know what they are saying about me when I am not around?


  1. ugh. I've been in this situation before, especially at work, when so much comrade-ry happens around gossiping. You don't want to make the situation awkward, or point fingers, but you don't want to participate either. It's a tough position to be in, to say the least. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you...

  2. Urgh, what a toughie! I have such a hard time figuring out sometimes if it's good to let someone 'vent' or if it's good to tell them to lay off the person. I don't want to promote gossip but I don't want to make the gossiper feel awful and never want to unload on me again. I hope you're able to navigate it somehow and share with us what you found to work because I certainly haven't figured it out.


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