Seeking Validation

I am not writing this post to engage in the whole working mom vs. stay at home mom debate. That has been done far too often. And, to be honest, I think every mom raising children is amazing, whether she brings in an income some way or not. But, what I would like to do, is offer one stay at home mom's perspective about the whole thing (
well, really only one teeny, tiny part of it)...mine. 

Recently I was involved in a "mom" debate that turned heated. One thing that struck me was a working mom saying "I don't understand why stay at home moms need to feel validated all the time." And that got me thinking...why do we?

When I worked, in the evenings, Ian and I would discuss our days...that was back before Facebook, so we couldn't update our statuses about our day all the time. I might talk of a presentation I nailed, or the badass spreadsheet I made, or how much my boss loved me...because how couldn't he?!? Staying at home, I have the same need to tell my day. AND, I have the same need to feel validated. Except, I don't have a boss to give me praise. I don't have pay raises and bonuses to show me a job well done. I do have smiles and cuddles, and those mean the world to me. But, that doesn't mean I don't want my husband, or even other people, to not verbalize that I am doing a kick ass job at raising my children...or at least commend me that I didn't loose it when my child was having a 45 minute long temper tantrum. Because, I am certain that the daycare worker taking care of someone else's temper tantrum throwing toddler got sympathy and understanding from others. And, how is it ok for someone with a job to talk of their job all the time (on Facebook/blogs/in person, etc) yet not ok for a stay at home mom to do the same? 

So the next time you want to complain about us stay at home moms bragging about cleaning the kitchen, making a pinterest worthy dinner and keeping the kids alive, just think about us listening to you go on and on about your promotion (or how much you hate your job), that work trip you just took, or that presentation you nailed. Because, truly, how hard is it for us to pat each other on the back from time to time and realize we are all going through life, trying the best we can (well, most of us anyway), and we all just want a little validation from time to time. 

Hats off to my amazing friends, amazing mothers, who go to work, then come home and make dinner, help kids with homework and clean the house. And, a job well done, to my stay at home mom friends who spend their day doing school runs, playing with kids, cleaning up, then making dinner, helping the kids with their nightly routine, before getting them in bed and cleaning the house....only to have it dirty again by 8am. 

Moms, YOU ROCK!!!

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  1. You find all my Pinterest worthy dinners instagramed for the world to see (@goodfoodweek) from one stay at home mum to another :)

  2. I LOVE this article on this exact topic. Bottom line, we are all MOMS trying to do the best we can for our kiddos. Rock on Momma!

    1. Such great letters! Thanks for sharing that link. I think so often we all forget that all us moms are trying to raise our kids the best we each know how.


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