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One thing I have had to do over the years is learn not to compare. It's easy to look at people, especially the persona people put on, and compare lives. And this never leaves me feeling great. Or, if it does leave me feeling great, that greatness would come with guilt because really is it ever good to feel better about yourself at the expense of someone else?

As I learned not to compare and care more about myself and how I was doing, rather than what people were thinking, a game changer happened. I became a mother. In motherhood, absolutely every-single-freaking-thing seems like a comparison and it gets old. Real old, real fast.

I'll let you in on a little secret. Most of us moms out there are doing what we find best for our children. But for some reason, we also think what is best for our children and our families is best for everyone else too. That is where the problems come in. The comparisons. Oh, your 17 month old isn't sleeping through the night?! Mine has been sleeping through the night since 6 days old. Um, well good for you.

When these conversations happen (which, um, is quite frequent on the mom circuit) I try to remind myself, and other moms who I can tell are feeling beat up by it all, every kid has their strengths and their weaknesses. And except for those moms out there that are lying even to themselves, raising kids be hard ya'll...for every single stinkin last one of us.  

Since I have been around the block a time or two, I am realistic. Women are never going to just level the playing field and be honest all the time. We all want people to think we have it all together...or at least to not think we are completely falling apart. My advice? Find a posse. A group of gals you can be real with. The ones who won't judge when your kid is throwing bark at their kid and you are just too tired to do anything about it. The ones who won't judge when you open your car door to pull out your kids and it looks like you dumped a weeks worth of trash all over your car. The ones who won't judge when you are scrounging through the cupboards trying to make up a recipe for dinner because you just don't feel like dragging your kids to the grocery store. 

I'm so thankful for my posse. And anytime any of you want to just let it all hang out (literally), give me a call. I'd be happy to hang out while our kids beat up on each, I mean, I would be happy to chat it up at a nice restaurant while our kids sit quiet and still.


  1. I am blessed to have had a posse that did that for me.

  2. so true! I'm just entering this "mom" group of friends...looking forward to some "real" times together!


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