Awkward/Awesome

I haven't done an awkward/awesome post in, I don't know, 100 years. But my kids have really made some moments lately awkward. And the reality is, even though they were awkward, they were so laughably awesome too. Plus, it's Friday. Not that Friday's aren't particularly joyous already (because, hello, Friday!). But here's a little something extra to help you laugh your way into the weekend.


Awesome: I ordered some amazing toilet paper that not only is made from recycled material, the company donates 50% of their profits. Totally up my alley.
Awesome x2: The company is called Who Gives A Crap. Which, side note, my postman found this hysterical, as did I.
Awkward: Connor announced to his whole class the name of our new toilet paper and his teacher was less than amused. Even when she was telling me, I was like, "But isn't it funny?!" She didn't seem to find the humor in it all.


Awesome: Isla's teachers told her how proud of her they were for her doing the right thing in a situation with a friend at school.
Awkward: When I asked Isla how she responded, she said she put her head down and walked around the teachers to the playground. And she finished up with, "Mom, it was so embarrassing. It felt like I was a celebrity."


Awesome: Your UPS driver (of seven years!) recognizing you while out and about and saying hi.
Awkward: All the moms with you thinking you have a severe online shopping addiction.


Which, let's just let my next one be about the UPS driver too.


Awesome: The new travel stroller I ordered for our vacation this summer arrived.
Awkward: The UPS driver asked if I was expecting again.


Awesome: Callum and one of the yard duties at the kids school high five every day. Callum starts yelling his name and waving the whole time we are walking toward the school, until he gets his high five.
Awkward: Callum coughed so hard while we were walking to school the other day he vomited. I tried to warn the yard duty that his hands were gross, but the yard duty still gave him a high five.


Awesome: Scrolling through old pictures of the kids (one of my favorite pastimes), seeing an old picture of Connor and realizing just how much him and Callum look alike.
Awkward: The picture was actually Callum.


Awesome: Connor loves me to go out to recess with him when I am working in his class at school. He especially likes me to battle the other kids at tether ball.
Awkward: Getting beat by a second grader...who was not my child.


Like I said in the beginning, my kids give me a lot of awkward/awesome situations on the daily!

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Awkward/Awesome {fourteen}

Awkward: My 3.5 year old throwing a fit and screaming his way through the store. 

Awesome: The lady in line behind me saying "I totally understand. Is he 3?"

Awesome: My new way out of talking to solicitors is by telling them I am the nanny.

Awkward: Connor coming to me just as I am closing the door yelling, "mama, mama!"

Awesome: When you get popcorn at Target and ask for it to be split in two bags, they pretty much fill up two bags for the price of one. 

Awkward: My kids can't consume that much popcorn. 

Awkward x2: When one of those said kids decides to swing the bag of popcorn while we are driving and cover the inside of my car in popcorn. 

Awesome: I have a carwash membership...hello free vacuums! 

Awkward: The car in front of us breaking down in the In-N-Out drive thru. 

Awesome: Hubby getting out of the car and helping push it thru. And don't you worry, the driver of the broken down car still got his food! 

Awesome: Randomly running into your own husband while at lunch with a friend. 

Awkward: Because I thought he was going to a different restaurant, I bolted out of my seat and across the parking lot to say hi. 

 ** I know the sensible thing would have been to pick up my phone and call him, but I am so not sensible! 

Awesome: Connor sleeping in until 9:30am! That kid never sleeps in. 

Awkward: Isla deciding to wake at 7:30am.

Anything awkward or awesome happen with you lately?

Awkward/Awesome {thirteen}

I had such an amazingly awkward thing happen the other day, that it spurred me to do another round of awkward/awesome. So maybe you should be thanking the dude in my first happening for this entertainment today.  

Awkward: A dude flirting with me when he totally saw me just standing with my hubby and kid. 

Awkward x2 (or really a zillion): He ended our conversation saying, "Next time you wear your owl and I'll wear my lizard."

  ** I should note that most of the conversation was regarding my owl necklace which I now kind of never want to wear again. 

Awesome: Boys pee standing up and can pee anywhere. 

Awkward: Even standing BEHIND my peeing boy, he still managed to get pee spray all over my feet. 

Awkward: That moment when you see your UPS driver while you are out driving and wave at him, only then realizing he has no clue who you are. 

Awesome: A nice old man talking to my kids. 

Awkward: Connor refused to talk to the guy and Isla buried her head and wouldn't even look at the poor man...and he kept trying, with the same results. 

Awesome: Free (relatively speaking) breakfast at the hotel we were staying at. 

Awkward: Me taking the kids by myself to said breakfast. Holding a tray of food while pushing a stroller and trying to keep a toddler from running away is not fun on any level. And not one single soul in the crowded restaurant offered to help. One lady even told me I was moving too slow.  

Awesome: The king size bed at the hotel. I so want one now. 

Awesome: Tomorrow is mine and Ian's 10 year anniversary. I know, right?! We are like a legit old married couple. 

Awkward: I plan on us eating the original top to our wedding cake from 10 years ago. I realize this was supposed to happen at 1 year, but things happen. I bet it is going to taste amazing. 

Awesome: Good tasting 10 year old cake or not, we are headed out for a night of celebrating tomorrow night and I am super excited. 

How about you, anything awkward or awesome happen lately?

Awkward/Awesome {twelve}

Awesome: Taking Connor on a special froyo date without Isla.
Awkward: He could have cared less and just wanted to play with some kids at another table.

Awesome: An unexpected free drink at Starbucks...I love it when the workers do that and I used to love doing that for customers when I worked there. 

Awesome: Facetiming with Connor while he was out of town with my parents.
Awkward: How incredibly close he holds the phone to his face. Oh, and for a while the picture was just black and I hear my mom say, "Connor, don't hold the phone up to your ear, look at them".

Awesome: Getting in my car and discovering a full take of gas after my FIL had driven it.
Awkward: Telling him he didn't need to do that and him responding that my gas light went on as soon as he left my house...oops!

Awesome: An evening family walk.

Awkward: Being about a mile away from home when Isla decided she wanted to cry the entire way home...no matter what we did. 

Awesome: A family in their front yard and the parents saying "We've been there" as we passed by. 

Awesome: Heavy rain that brought big puddles to drive thru. 

Awkward: Driving thru one with my window down...not the smartest thing I have ever done. 

Anything awkward or awesome happen to you lately?

Awkward/Awesome {eleven}

Awkward: Connor running away from me at the grocery store

Awesome & Awkward: The lady in line after me running after him as my hands were full

Awkward & Awesome: The old lady behind her yelling "run little boy, run"

Awkward: That moment when someone knows your name and is going in for a hug and you have no clue who it is

Awkward: My brother farted really loud and asked Connor "Who did that?" and Connor said "Mama!"

Awesome: Being awoken at 9am by a text and realizing your kids let you sleep until 9am! 

Awesome: Running into a former teacher and catching up

Awkward: He was trying to sell me something

Awkward: When the car in front of you in the Starbucks drive thru turns off their car

Awkward x2: All I wanted was a simple coffee

Awesome: Every single stinking time Connor goes poop in the toilet. I still can't get over the magic that is one less in diapers! 

Awesome: I got my car washed

Awkward: I called it correctly when I said it would rain since I got my car washed

Awesome: I love rain and was so excited to actually clean the inside of my car, so no harm done

Awkward: I went to mail my Christmas cards at the post office and the parking lot was full 

Awkward x2: I decided to suck it up and go in anyway

Awesome: I walked in and NO ONE was in there

Awesome x2: I told the lady helping me it was a "Christmas miracle"...seriously, I probably said it a little too loudly and excitedly, but whatevs! 

Anything awkward or awesome been going on with you?

Awkward/Awesome {ten}

Awkward: Plopping myself down on a public toilet only to find it wet

Awkward x2: I don't use toilet seat covers 

Awesome: Spending time with a friend I haven't seen in a while...like almost a year

Awesome x2: There is never any awkwardness between us no matter how long we go between visits

Awesome: The most amazing taco truck tacos that are just blocks from my parents home

Awkward: The jealousy I have toward my parents for living so close to said tacos

Awkward: Being thrown up on by my child

Awesome: Laughing hysterically about it, cause what else can you do?

Awkward: Ian was also hit and didn't think it was as funny as I did

Awkward: Crossing the picket line to go grocery shopping

Awesome: All the free stuff and deals they use to entice you in!

Awesome: Going to In-n-Out super early for lunch

Awesome x2: No line and open tables

Awkward: Being the youngest people there by like 50 years

Awkward/Awesome {nine}

Awesome: Both kids were quiet and well behaved while waiting in a long line at the post office

Awkward: Both kids were playing with iPhones while waiting in said long line at the post office

Awkward: Having a group of construction workers obviously check me out

Awkward x2: My mother-in-law seeing it and mentioning it to me

Awkward: Bracing something between my bare feet and drilling into it

Awesome: My mom telling me there was a much easier way to do the craft project that wouldn't end in me needing a tetanus shot

Awkward: Me realizing that if I had just read the original directions, I would have known this

Awkward: The home button on my iPhone broke, rendering my phone practically useless

Awesome: With a little googling, I found a quick fix and it worked! 

Awesome: Our camera is back from Canon

Awkward: It sat at the camera shop all day begging to be picked up and Ian never got it...I am having withdrawals

Awesome: Cleaning off the table, sweeping and doing all the dishes right after dinner

Awkward: The fact that I normal NEVER do this and just live with the mess

Awkward: Taking a million pictures of Connor drinking from the drinking fountain at the park

Awesome: One amazing picture made it all worth it

Awesome: Someone I knew through my old job making it into the pages of both People and US Weekly

Awkward: It was because their wife (who was a child star) left them

Awkward: The freaking weather! It's October, why are we still in the triple digits!? 

Awkward x2: I couldn't figure out how to spell digit and had to use spell check! 

Anything awkward or awesome happen to you lately? 

Awkward/Awesome {eight}

Awkward: It's been so long, you thought I forgot about awkward/awesome posts

Awesome: Thankfully, I haven't and am feeling inspired to write one

Awkward: Having a cashier point out to me that Isla was eating paper

Awesome: I gave it to her because HELLO, it was keeping her quiet

Awkward: Making plans, then realizing we already had plans with someone else

Awkward: Cat vomit (or something of the sort) on our driveway

Awesome: Connor pointing at it and saying "yucky"

Awesome: Connor being back in his room

Awesome x2: Connor saying "Mommy fix my room, daddy put door on"

*** That's right buddy, I did fix your room all by myself...hahaha!

Awkward & Awesome: Daily inappropriate text messages from my brother

Awesome: Said brother's new app that randomly gives pictures captions

Yes, that is my toddler drinking some red bull. Thats what uncles are for! 

Awesome: Being told by my friend's 9 year old that my bathing suit is "so cute"

Awkward: Finding myself fixing a display at Starbucks

Awkward & Awesome: I've taken 5000 pictures in the past 2.5 months. Yes, you read that correctly. 

Anything awkward or awesome happen to you lately?

And if you are my brother, you can't respond back with innaprooriate text messages from my sister! Even if it is true. 

Awkward/Awesome {seven}

Awkward: A trashed rental that smells oh-so-bad
Awesome: New paint and flooring remedied the smell 
Awkward: The tenant didn't even come to his walk-thru and has been avoiding us
Awesome: We have a deposit


Awkward (times infinity): Being solicited like I was a prostitute. I kid you not. I was mortified. And it happened in the middle of the day. Seriously?!


Awesome: Good heigene

Awesome: Having lunch with an old friend
Awkward: Connor deciding to only consume butter while we were at lunch


Awesome: Running into former co-workers
Awkward: So many of them admitting to reading my blog, yet not commenting
Awesome: Wait a second, there is nothing awkward about that...come on people, its super flattering that you actually read my blog!


Awesome: Unexpected mid-morning naps! If only that nap was for me!

Awkward: I was changing Connor's diaper and he started to laugh and said, "That tickles, tickles my kee-kee"


Awesome: Dinner with my aunt and uncle

Awkward/Awesome {six}

Awkward: While feeding Isla, Connor walked up to me and said "Isla boobie juice"
Thanks, little bro!

Awesome: Making plans to hang out with a friend via facebook
Awkward: Neither one of us being particularly good at checking facebook, so we missed each other
Awesome: Exchanging real contact info so this doesn't happen again

Awesome: Finally getting around to washing and vacuuming out my car
Awkward: It rained the next day
Awkward: My brother saying, "Don't you ever check the weather report?"

Awesome: Helping make bows for Abigail's Bling for Balding Beauties (child cancer patients). We made 103 bows in 2 hours!

Awkward: Making Connor a hot dog and having him point at it and say "hot, poop" (He wasn't trying to say hot dog, but merely saying the food was hot and that it was poop)
Super Awkward: Him eating the hot dog anyway. Apparently the kid likes hot poop.

Awkward: I've been asked twice lately by people close to me if I was pregnant. Um...am I eating too much lately?

Awesome: Having lunch with my big older brother

Awesome: Meeting an old friend and her kids at the park
Awkward: Having a creepy man stalk us
Awkward x2: Him staying until we finally were fed up and decided to leave

Awesome: Date night with the hubby
Awesome x2: Having a gift card to pay for it

Awesome: All the outdoor time we've been having lately

Awkward: Because of awesome weather, I turned off the heater and forgot to turn it back on, thus Ian woke up for work to a freezing cold house.
Awesome: Ian turned on the heater and by the time I got up hours later, the house was toasty warm ;)

Awkward/Awesome {five}

Awkward: A lady saying (in a condescending tone) "You look like you have your hands full."
Awesome: Both my kids were perfectly well behaved at that moment.

Awkward: I pushed Ian out of the bed in the middle of the night to check on my car because I heard a car alarm going off.
Awkward: My car wasn't in the driveway
Awesome: I had parked it on the street the night before. And it was just my neighbor's car alarm acting up. Sorry Ian!

Awesome: I cleaned out our refrigerator
Awkward: Now it looks like we don't have any food

Awesome: My friend came over and watched my kids while Ian and I went out to lunch
Awesome x2: She asked me what she should feed Connor for lunch
Awkward: I suggested rice and black beans
Awesome: She let me know that is a healthy and nutritious meal

Awkward: Isla's bow attacked her while she was sleeping
Awesome: No one was home to see it, except for me
Awkward: Now I am sharing the picture with the rest of the world

Awkward: I woke up to someone repeatedly ringing my doorbell
Awesome: It wasn't a crazy person, just a city worker wanting to cut our tree away from the power lines

Awesome: I posted a picture on instagram of a funny text conversation between my brother and I
Awkward: I realized there was a word error in there and it bugs me
Awesome: It's still a funny conversation

Awkward/Awesome {four}

Awesome: A guy striking up a conversation with me because we both graduated from the same school...I was wearing our school's sweatshirt
Awkward: Him asking what I do for a living
Awesome: Him saying "Oh yeah!" and giving me a high five when I told him I was a stay at home mom
Awkward: Him saying he wouldn't have talked to me if my sweatshirt said Cal Poly Pomona (I went to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo)
Awesome: Me feeling the exact same way about Cal Poly Pomona


Awesome: Borrowing people's newer-than-mine vehicles
Awesome & Awkward: Realizing how easy it is to speed in newer vehicles because I can't "feel" my speed


Awesome: Listening to the radio
Awkward: The DJ saying (on a Sunday) "You better get your ass to church". Uh, can you cuss when talking about church?


Awkward (or just plain miserable): Being out of the house before the sun is up
Awesome: Watching a beautiful sunrise


Awesome: Taking Connor with me to the train station to drop my mom off so he could see a real "choo, choo"
Awkward: The train being delayed by an hour
Awesome: Connor and I running to pick up Ian and Isla and Starbucks and still making it back in time to watch the train
Awkward: Connor caring more about the moving train than saying bye to his grandma


Awesome: I realized the other day I can bend over again without any-freaking-pain (or discomfort). Oh yeah! The ginormious belly is gone!


Awkward: Isla poops pretty much every time we change her...while we are changing her.
Awesome: Watching her do it when someone else is changing her. Moo-ha-ha!!! Makes me laugh. Huge laughter.


Awesome: I took the kids for a walk
Awkward: A guy in a truck yelled at me, "Want another one?"
Awesome: I resisted the temptation to flip him off

Awkward/Awesome {three}

Awesome: Having a friend text me that we need to hang out. Me, not really having a life, responding with "ok, how about today?"
Awkward: Said friend responding that they are busy all week, so maybe next week.

Awkward: Having a wrong number call my phone.
Awkward x2: Them asking what number they called and me blanking on my phone number.
Awkward x3: The lady responding with "Who doesn't remember their own number?" I wanted to respond back with, "Well I am 9 months pregnant, in the middle of making dinner and have a screaming toddler in the background. You try to remember your phone number with all those distractions &$#@%!"
Awesome: I held my hormones in check was a little kinder and just hung up the phone.

Awesome: People caring.
Awkward: Getting 20 million texts a day from people asking "How are you feeling?"
**I started loathing this question at the end of my last pregnancy as well. You can read all about it here.

Awesome: My MIL calling to let me know they can now babysit for us.
Awkward: We didn't have plans and didn't ask for babysitting.
Awesome: Taking her up on that babysitting and getting an evening to ourselves.

Awesome: I found a restaurant gift card in our room, so we used it for our random night out!

Awkward: My car having problems starting.
Awesome: Us finding out it only needed a new battery and not some insanely expensive repair.

Awkward: Someone telling me I looked huge and needed to have the baby immediately.
Awesome: I didn't punch this person. I merely told them that was a rude thing to say.

Awesome: A different someone telling me "Ohmygosh, you are due in a week!?! I never looked that good when I was that pregnant." Now this person gets an A+ on what to say to a pregnant lady!

Anything awkward or awesome happen to you lately?

Awkward/Awesome {two}

I have decided to swipe Rachael's idea (from In Goodly Colors Gloriously Arranged) and introduce an awkward/awesome series on my blog. I am in no way as creative or consistent as she is, but I figure when the mood strikes (and enough things have transpired in my life to make a good post) I will do an awkward/awesome post.

So, without further ado, awkward/awesome {volume two}:

Awesome: Its a nice night, so we opened our windows to cool off the house.
Awkward: Our neighbors are smoking pot and the smell is coming into our house.

Awesome: My OB is really cool.
Awkward: For the second time she has referred to me as Mexican**. I corrected her the first time, but this time I just let it go.

Awkward: Coming across the lowest toilet known to man in a public restroom. It was well below my knees.
Awkward x2: Because it was so low, I couldn't "squat" over it and had to sit on it.
Awesome: The toilet seat wasn't wet or anything, so sitting on it wasn't a problem. 

Awkward: See the toilet paper under my foot in the picture (I was trying to show perspective as to how low the toilet was using my leg)? It stuck to my shoe and took me a while to realize this.

Awesome: We went for shaved ice to cool off from all the heat.
Awesome?: Connor enjoyed himself so much, we had to take his sticky clothes off of him.
Awkward: While walking to the car, we ran into someone I hadn't seen since high school. I found myself trying to explain that I am not that mom...I don't normally let my kid just run around in public (at a food place, non-the-less) in just a diaper.

Awesome: We got a dresser for the baby's room from Ikea.
Awesome: The husband put it together. And being the great wife that I am, I sat in there to watch/talk.
Awkward: Said husband kicked me out of the room because he said I was a distraction.

Awkward: Stealing someone's blog series idea and hoping they don't mind. Uh, thanks in advance Rachael for letting me steal your awesome idea!



** I am just an olive-skinned white girl, in case you are wondering.

Awkward/Awesome

So every Thursday at Rachael's blog, she does a segment called Awkward/Awesome. If you haven't ever checked it out, you need to. It practically makes my Thursday's. Yesterday I had something so awkward/awesome happen that I had to share.

We were walking around with Ian's sister in Santa Monica and stopped at a place for dinner. Ian put our name in and I ran in to use the restroom. While leaving, I noticed open seating at the bar. When I came out, I asked Ian how long the wait was (35 min) and told him to ask if kids could sit in the bar. Before I know it, we are sitting at a table in the bar. Awesome.

A couple minutes in to our sitting, a hostess comes and tells us we couldn't sit there because it was being used for a large party, but she would move us to another table. It turns out the bar area wasn't actually a bar area, even though it was in the bar and separate from the restaurant and they didn't explain this to Ian when he asked if kids could sit in the bar area. So, we had swooped in and stolen people's seats. Awkward.

The hostess moved us to another table anyway and told us she didn't care we cut the line and that she moved us because Connor was so cute. Almost on cue, Connor looked at her and smiled. She melted. Then we got him to blow kisses at her...and she blew them back. So, in an awkward and awesome time, we managed to cut the line at the restaurant and get seated right away. All due to Connor's cuteness. Awesome.

And here's a little video of Connor eating a tic-tac off the restaurant table using only his mouth. The kid is classy talented, what can I say?